11 Key Questions to Help Choose the Right Therapist for YOU
I’m a mental health therapist, and I’ve got disabilities. I tried to access therapy for years, but always met with a wall, largely because I didn’t know there are many types of mental health therapy, and I didn’t realize that I could ‘shop around’ – find a therapist who truly suited me. I ended up stuck on repeat, bored with my therapist, in talk therapy.
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.
I wanted to pull together some questions to ask therapists, when you are in the process of finding one that gels with you. Here are they are. First of all, though, let’s be clear about what a therapist actually is and does, and some of the basic logistics and pieces, including the often asked question of “what is the difference between a therapist and a coach?”
What is a Mental Health Therapist?
A mental health therapist – also known as a mental health counselor – works with people who need help moving past emotional, psychological, neurological, or traumatic barriers. We help people understand themselves a little better, help people process pain, learn ways of creating the life they want. We help people heal themselves and create their own mental wellness.
We also connect clients with relevant resources and referrals, maintain accurate and confidential records of progress and treatment. We also inform and educate clients about their mental health conditions, treatment options and self-care practices, information and education about mental health conditions, treatment options, and self-care practices.
Common issues that we treat include anxiety, depression, PTSD, trauma, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, grief and loss, stress management and self esteem. The therapist may choose to work with specific populations – for example, I only work with people who have an intersection with disability (- disabled, or have a child with a disability), and within that, my particular areas of focus are neurodivergence (specifically, Autism and ADHD).
What is the Difference Between Mental Health Therapy and Coaching?
Here’s a handy table summarizing the differences between a mental health therapist and a coach:
| Feature | Mental Health Therapist | Coach |
|---|---|---|
| Focus | Mental health conditions, emotional distress, goal setting, personal development, career counseling | Goal setting, personal development, specific areas of life |
| Training/Licensure/Insurance | Extensive education and licensure; licensure is by state and requires continuing education; can take medical insurance | Varies, less regulated; licensure by state not required nor is continuing education. Does not take medical insurance. |
| Approach | Therapeutic techniques, addressing underlying issues but may also use techniques focused on action and outcomes | Coaching techniques, focusing on action and outcomes |
| Outcomes | Reduced symptoms, improved well-being, goal achievement, skill improvement, enhanced satisfaction | Goal achievement, skill improvement, enhanced satisfaction |
| Diagnosis/Treatment | Can diagnose and treat | Cannot diagnose or treat |
Trial Sessions with Therapy
Therapists usually offer one trial session or a free initial meeting. Use that session! After your trial session, just answer two questions to determine if you want to proceed at all with that therapist:
- Do I feel that this person truly hears and sees me?
- Is there any part of me that wants to go back for more sessions?
Answering no to either question is a deal breaker. Don’t work with someone who doesn’t understand you. A therapist should give you a sense of validation and relief, and make you feel they can help you bear your burdens. It’s not that they solve your problems for you; it’s that they help you figure out how to solve them, and make you feel empowered to do so. A good therapeutic relationship will need you to like them to a degree; you need to feel like you’d like to spend more time with them.
Licensed Therapy
It’s best to see a therapist who is licensed. This does not include being certified in some form of therapy. Pre-licensed is okay if the therapist is being supervised.
Let’s get to the questions that can be asked to get a sense of a potential therapist. A lot of the answers to these questions should be on the therapist’s website or can be answered prior to the first session. But you should feel free to ask in the first (free) session before committing to a therapeutic relationship with them:
1.What is your Education and training?
The therapist should have a Master’s or Doctoral degree in a mental health field that provides intensive training in psychotherapy, such as psychology, psychiatry, psychiatric nursing, or counseling. Degrees may include an MD (medical doctor, Psychiatrist, like Frasier!), PhD or PsyD (psychologist), MSW (master of social work), LMHC (licensed mental health counselor). Other common credentials are PRN (psychiatric nurse practitioner), LPC (licensed professional counselor), and LMFT (licensed marriage and family therapist).
If you don’t know what the letters after their name stand for, ask!
2.What kind of license do you have?
Pre-licensed under supervision is fine, but do not see a therapist who is not licensed or pre-licensed. A “certification” in some form of therapy is not a license.
3. Who Are You?!
“Who Are You” being really, all the things like: How long have you been providing therapy? Do you belong to a therapist consultation group? What was an enjoyable Continuing Education class that you took, and why?
In terms of length of time in therapeutic practice, longer is not necessarily better. Many new therapists are excellent, so give them a chance! More important than length of time in practice is that the therapist is humble enough to know they don’t know everything, and strives to learn and improve their skillsets and knowledge. Asking questions about what they are continuing to learn and if they belong to a therapist consultation group will give you clues as to their desire to become better.
4.What is your area of specialty?
All therapists have different areas of expertise and specialty. Find one that resonates with you. If you don’t understand their psychobabble, ask them to break it down in layman’s terms (aka, “real English”).
5.What would a typical session look like?
The therapist should be able to describe a typical session with them, what it would look like, and how they would address some of your presenting problems.
6.How long will therapy last?
The length of therapy can’t always be predicted. However, therapists will have some general idea of the typical course of treatment for many concerns. Brief therapy may be only 6-12 weekly sessions, while other therapies may take a few months or longer.
7.How long is each session? How often?
Many therapists hold 45-50 minute weekly sessions, but some may offer longer or more frequent sessions. Also, check on available days and times to make sure therapy fits your schedule.
8.What are the fees for therapy? Is insurance accepted?
This can sometimes be complicated. If the therapist is in the “network” of providers for your health insurance, this usually equates to a more affordable “co-payment” (the amount you pay for each session). If the therapist is “out of network,” it’s possible your insurance may still cover a part of the fee. Other therapists do not accept insurance, so you pay the therapist the entire fee. Many therapists are willing to be somewhat flexible about their fees, particularly if you have financial hardships. Don’t be afraid to ask for a lower fee or to inquire about possible referrals to lower-cost therapy providers.
9.Is therapy offered in person? Online?
Since the pandemic, most therapists now offer online services, but be sure to check. If in-person sessions occur, find out about office location, parking, and other on-site details.
10.How are cancellations or missed appointments handled?
Find out about procedures for notifying the therapist when you need to cancel an appointment. There can sometimes be a fee if you fail to attend an appointment or cancel without sufficient advance notice.
11.Ask About Orientations and Beliefs that are Important to You
While I myself don’t need my own mental health therapists to truly understand my deaf experience, I do need them to understand neurodivergence. I also need them to be open minded and to see us with disabilities as truly human and not “special”. The latter is the biggest ask, but it’s crucial in order for me to trust them.
Whatever it is that is important to you – the deal breaker – make sure to ask your potential therapist about. What do they think about Black Lives Matter? Trump? Ableism? Be clear on what their perspectives are on the things that matter most to you.
In summary
A good therapist can literally change your life. It’s important to take the time to interview your therapist and make sure they are the right fit for YOU. Ask the questions you need to determine if they will be the most competent therapist for you and the right fit. Keep in mind that through all the questions, at the end of the day, it really does boil down to your feeling heard, seen and validated and your desire to go back for more sessions.
